Two years ago I was depressed with no motivation to live and had no lifelong aspirations. I worked at a McDonalds where my boss hated me, and I had no family or friends. I deplored the absurdity of this world as a whole and wanted at least a single person to want me. I decided to fly to where there was a cannibal tribe, using the money I had saved up over time. I offered my flesh as I arrived at their camp and they started preparing. I was left on a bed of unlit charcoals and just as they were about to light the fire, I saw it. A mystical flying gorilla grabbed me off the ground and we were flying at mach 4 in the sky but somehow I wasn’t feeling any pain. I thought that maybe I was already dead but then the flying gorilla said “Do not be afraid”. I was enlightened and then realised how much of a fool I had been to even attempt to leave this world. We ended up landing back at my apartment and with tears streaming down my face I asked how I could ever repay this amazing being for saving my life. The magnificent flying gorilla paused for a second and then looked at me. With a calm smile, the flying gorilla replied “Play the hit mobile game; Flying Gorilla”. Without another second of delay, the flying gorilla flew off into the distant and I stared in awe for what seemed like an eternity before I went to the app store on my phone and searched up the game ‘Flying Gorilla’.

My child of 6 years was suffering from brain cancer. So stupid she couldn’t even tell the difference between letters and numbers. Not only that but at the time the child’s mother was filing for a divorce. I was having suicidal thoughts. Not only was I about to be sued for everything I own but my only hope of survival when i’m 75 is as smart as a football. She was planned to die in 4-6 months. I worked at a McDonalds drive through with little to no income. All hope seemed lost until one day I came across my saviour…Flying Gorilla! This game saved me. As soon as I found this game I called my boss and told him it was over, I was going pro. I now play this game full time. I even showed it to my daughter. It cured her brain cancer! Now she is 14 and has to work 2 full time jobs to take care of me. I’ve now gained 300 pounds and am on the road to becoming the worlds greatest flying gorilla player! My daughter keeps saying stuff like “I wish you never saved me and just let me die” “You’re so useless you’re 45 years old with no income just scabbing off of me, your 14 year old daughter” and “I’m leaving to go live with mum.” That was 3 days ago and I haven’t seen her since. I’m starting to run out of Cheezels. I 100% recommend this game to anyone who wants to have a false sense of accomplishment in their life. This game saved me.

This game changed my life. It influenced me in such a positive way that words can not express my appreciation. I was recently diagnosed with kidney failure and I knew that without a successful transplant I would surely die within the month. My family are wolves, so their kidneys are different and when my sister tried to donate her kidney to me it failed and due to the medical complications I became half washing machine. I now cry detergent from my blue orbs every night, because my sister died trying to save me and it was all for nothing.. anyway one day in maths class I felt a tap on my furry shoulder, and when I turned around a flying gorilla was sitting behind me. In his hand he held a live kidney, “I heard you were looking for one of these” he said. I said to this gorilla (who was super sexy by the way) “how did you get that” and he said “it doesn’t matter take the kidney you stupid ugly washing machine”. I opened my lid and put in the kidney. My washing process then began and the kidney was accepted into my technological wolf body as it was splashed with detergent, water and other of my bodily fluids. Then we kissed and I felt real happiness for the first time since my step bro found me stuck in the fence. I am now a billionaire. This game saved me life, and it could save yours too.

Around 2 years ago aliens captured me in their mothership, these aliens were very cruel and left me to rot on a small island. I screamed for help for countless hours but nobody came. With no food and no clean water I was going to die out on this island, and then. Just as I lost hope. A gorilla with wings flew over like a hawk and dropped a treasure chest. And I wondered what was inside, I opened the chest and there was bananas. I was so happy because I wouldn’t starve and then I dug around the chest and found something else. It was a iPhone 14! I opened it and it had no apps on it, not even the AppStore. I swiped right a few times and found this game called “flying gorilla”. I thought if it was the only game on the iphone I might aswell click it. Now as soon as my kfc greasy dry little grippy fingers touched that square of a monkey app. The phone started to levitate. The phone had a glowing light coming out as It floated there. Then, countless stunning flying gorilla came by and landed next to me. The picked up my arms, legs, head, and torso. And flew me to the aliens who put me here. When we arrived the aliens stood there in shock. They went their knees and gave up immediately. And that’s the story how I went from being stuck on an island to a quadrillionaire because of this app. Thank you. Flying gorilla!