Bobby's Blog

This is my entry for March’s IndieWeb Carnival, hosted by Pablo.

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As I sit here, warm torrefied beverage in hand, reflecting upon my life with quadragenarian knowledge, I can say with certainty that if you were sat across the table from me that you would feel the vibes I give off. You’d be forgiven, though, should you not.

My self-expression—my vibe—is about being low-key. And that says a lot about a person. Just check out my banal choice of clothing. The story is in the threads: a blend of normcore meets 90s dresses-like-a-skater-but-doesn’t-skate could be a fashion statement. Except it isn’t. Unless not making a statement is, in itself, a statement?

Don’t overthink it. It’s just about the comfort. It’s about the zone.

You’ll see me—walking through town, shopping, taking the bus—with my earphones in. Those earphones are an icon. They’re a symbol to let you know that I am on a solo, single-player mission. My taste in music is representative of who I am as well. While I listen to plenty of popular music, the vast majority of my music is low-key in terms of notoriety. You’d be right to think that I’m antisocial and introverted (sometimes I feel misanthropic), but you might be shocked to see me systematically remove my headphones at the cash. I don’t answer the phone at the checkout either.

Being rude draws attention. Being an idiot draws attention.

It isn’t easy to express yourself. Have you seen Severance? Or Office Space? Your work you might need to express themselves differently. My work me spends every day talking to classrooms full of 20-somethings, occasionally amphitheatres. But I still bring my vibe to work—see those skate shoes?

But, this is just coping?

No. I’ve tried coping. Coping was a two year period of my life when I decided to do a Yes Man. A leopard cannot change its spots, or, as the French say, chassez le naturel, il revient au galop (“Drive off character, it comes back galloping”). And boy, it was a stampede. And by stampede, I mean it set off a four-year period of anxiety, multiple medical visits, acephalgic migraines, idiopathic pericarditis, and even a little CBT.

Being introverted isn’t a weakness or a strength. Not every tree is the same.

I fell a bit far from the tree. In my family, some people are loud. Some of them like to entertain in public with songs and music. And then there is me, someone who wants to remain under the radar, but stands almost 2 metres tall. When I was younger, people said, “you’d make a great politician” (sometimes they said minister, which made me laugh). Why? Because I am tall. They thought that I should be a pine on the top of a hill.

No. The shrub life was my my thing. It still is. Right here—this blog that a handful of people will glance at—is a perfect example of how I want to present myself to the world: low-key, but somewhat verbose if you get me talking.