As a person in a long-distance relationship, I’ve long been familiar with the idea of an “Everything Shower”—even if I didn’t know it by that name until recently. Much like “Girl Dinner,” Everything Shower gives an honorific to a pretty basic concept—calling snacks a meal, in the case of the former, or describing the action of a shower that includes every step possible of a bathing routine (wash face! wash hair! wash body! other stuff!) in one single session.
An Everything Shower is exactly what I do while my fiancé is on a plane, commuting a handful of hours to visit me: spend a luxurious hour and a half in and around the shower, tidying myself up. My Everything Showers also make up for any and all laziness in the grooming department before a big event.
I emerge from my version of an Everything Shower as a completely new person—scrubbed, massaged, and moisturized. Here are my multitasking steps, broken down with the products I love.
Step 1: Lymphatic drainage massage
I started my writing career at Goop, where I became obsessed with the results from lymphatic massages and dry brushing—skin looks brighter and more even, bloating disappears, those weird little bumps on the back of my arms shrink, and I feel more awake.
On the days I’m doing a “Basic Shower”—my newly minted name for, you know, just showering—I’ll use a classic bristle dry brush. But if I’m Everything Showering, that means I have some intensive body scrubbing planned for further along in my routine, so I’ll skip exfoliating here and use a more gentle lymphatic tool. The De La Heart body tool has different ergonomic crevices to use on different body parts and feels great gliding across your skin.
After this, I do something I stole from Ava Lee’s morning routine: I rhythmically tap the lymph nodes in my armpits about 15 times each to get the lymph flowing. I swear to God I feel more energetic after this step.
Step 2: Preshower hair removal
I’ve never really mastered shaving. So many nicks. So many Band-Aids. Why bother? I prefer to cover my limbs in the Flamingo Body Hair Removal Cream, and during the 10 minutes it takes for the cream to remove the hair on my arms, legs, and stomach, I figure out what the sound vibe is going to be for the day’s shower—I like to listen to music, but if it’s pump up or chill out really depends on the day.
This depilatory cream works just like the old-school versions, with one important update…it doesn’t smell like them. And it comes with a tiny spatula that makes scraping off the product (and making sure every single hair is gone) even easier.
Step 3: Double-cleanse hair
Now that I’ve finished my prep, it’s time, at last, to get in the shower. After I turn the water on (obviously), I rinse off the depilatory cream and instantly feel much more aerodynamic. Next, I double-cleanse my hair to make sure I remove all the products I used during the week—which typically includes the Ceremonia Guava Leave-In Conditioner (best-smelling hair product ever), the Motions Setting Lotion, and Suavecita Hair Pomade. Then I use whatever face wash I have on hand.
Step 4: Conditioning and a pair of scrubs
First, I employ a trick taught to me by the perfect-haired Blake Lively. Instead of using a conditioner, I go straight to a hair mask and leave it on for an extra-long time. The Pattern hair clip is perfect for pulling back all my hair while it bakes in the mask. I really like the one from Fenty.
Yes, more scrubbing. I know. I want to be smooth—dolphin, mochi, glass, whatever your skin trend of choice is—across my entire body. Goshi’s exfoliating towel is made of exfoliating threads and woven (instead of a really abrasive, Velcro-like material), so it feels more like a buff than an abrasive exfoliation. Also, the rectangular shape makes it super easy to get your back.
From there, I use my hands to smooth on the Dove Serum wash. I was skeptical of the product when I first tried it—it’s a bit more syrupy and oily feeling than regular liquid body soap!—but it makes my body feel so much more hydrated and soft after all the aggressive cleansing I’ve put it through.
Step 5: After-shower masking
After I wrap my hair up in a microfiber towel, it’s time to further repent for the shower.
First, I put on a Biodance sheet mask—these somehow magically suction cup to your face (it’s hard to do anything with a face mask slipping around, and I need to multitask to get across the finish line), and I love peeling them off and seeing the instant glow.
I’m also anti-deodorant for a handful of reasons—including obnoxious white marks all over my vintage clothing—so instead, I use these pH-balancing anti-odorant pads. They wipe away all body scent and rebalance the skin’s microbiome so the scent-making microbes disappear. Even better, I really only need to use them once a week or so.
Step 6: Layering body products
I always think about this meme when I’m applying skin care—layering products for my face is a no-brainer, so whyglycolic spray across my upper back, which has dramatically reduced breakouts in that area.
Next, I do something a little crazy, and I’m okay with admitting that. I spray a face serum across my entire body, but hear me out: This trick has dramatically increased how much body lotion (I love Josie Maran’s whipped argan body lotion; the fig one smells incredible) or oil is actually absorbed.
Now I’m clean, smooth, silky, and…tired. Into my bathrobe to do my hair I go.
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