March 29, 2002

JOOP APOLOGIZES WITH A COOK BOOK

He's ba-ack. But this time around, German fashion designer Wolfgang Joop is trying to rehabilitate his slash-and-burn image by raising money for charity. The high-falutin' fashionista offended sensibilities worldwide by...

KISS OFF!

DEATH TO SMOOCHY [] Overstuffed kid-show spoof. Running time: 109 minutes. Rated R (profanity, violence). At the Loews Village, the Lincoln Square, others. ------ ROBIN Williams gleefully trashes his feel-good...

NEW ROXIE WITH MOXIE

CHICAGO [ 1/2]At the Shubert Theater, 225 W. 44th St., (212) 239-6200. ----------- 'CHICAGO," that toddlin' Kander and Ebb musical, keeps on toddlin', even though its Broadway cast changes are...

I WANT MY MTV – NETWORK TELLS CUSTOM: ‘HEY MISTER,’ GET LOST

YOU might know his Beck-inflected rock sound, but you probably wouldn't recognize Custom unless you live near Chinatown and have spied this 6-foot-8 blond taking out the trash from his...

WEIRD BUT TRUE

A Pennsylvania man faces criminal charges - for talking too long at a town council meeting. Jim Barbe is accused of talking for 11 minutes at a meeting of Salem...

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE: DOC GIVES UP LICENSE

A politically connected Long Island doctor has surrendered his license to practice medicine rather than face a litany of charges - including claims that he fell asleep during operations. The...

THEY’RE PLAYING HURT – FDNY GRID TEAM SET FOR NEW SEASON AFTER 9/11 LOSSES

When the FDNY's football team takes to the gridiron tonight for its first game of the season, quarterback Patrick Lyons won't be there to call the plays. His backup, Tommy...

RICHES-TO-RAGS TALE OF ‘ONE-MAN ARSENAL’

A mystery man, arrested riding a bike with a cache of weapons in The Bronx, has been identified as an illegal immigrant who left behind an engineering job in Hungary...

END FORCED RETIREMENT FOR OUR HEROES: BLOOMY

New York could hold onto some of its best cops and firefighters by lifting the mandatory retirement age, Mayor Bloomberg said yesterday. "I don't like any kind of age discrimination,"...

GROUND ZERO CHIEF STEPS DOWN

When he retired yesterday, the city's commissioner for emergency management, Richard Sheirer, took only one souvenir with him from the devastated World Trade Center. The souvenir was a piece of...

PATAKI PLANS TO PAY A ‘TOLL’ CALL ON MIKE

Mayor Bloomberg and Gov. Pataki today will discuss the mayor's idea for a two-tiered toll system for the city's bridges. Pataki wouldn't comment yesterday on the idea - raised by...

AL QAEDA LAND MINE KILLS NAVY SEAL, INJURES SECOND

WASHINGTON - A U.S. Special Forces commando was killed and another wounded yesterday when a land mine exploded during a training exercise in Afghanistan, the Pentagon said. U.S. Navy SEAL...

DEVASTATED WIFE MUM ON CORZINE SPLIT

Joanne Corzine's sweet smile was masking bitter tears yesterday after her politician hubby Jon Corzine announced the couple were divorcing. The Democratic New Jersey senator and his wife of 33...

L.I. COPS PROBE REVS. – 2 CATHOLIC PRIESTS EYED FOR CHILD SEX ABUSE

Nassau County police are investigating sex-abuse allegations against two Long Island priests even though the statute of limitation has expired in one case. The unusual probe comes as the Suffolk...

COUNCILMAN BUSTED – TRIED TO SHAKE DOWN DEVELOPER FOR $1.5M: FEDS

A Brooklyn city councilman was nabbed on corruption charges yesterday for allegedly shaking down a developer for more than $1.5 million in payoffs in exchange for his stamp of approval...

MOUSSAOUI FACES DEATH – ASHCROFT GIVES OK OVER BID TO ‘COMMIT ACT OF TERRORISM’

WASHINGTON - Attorney General John Ashcroft yesterday signed off on seeking the death penalty against suspected "20th hijacker" Zacarias Moussaoui. In papers filed in Virginia federal court, prosecutors said they...

QNS. MAN HIT WITH CAR-SLAY RAP

A Queens man has been indicted on homicide charges for allegedly smashing his speeding car into another vehicle on the Cross Island Parkway last summer, killing a 74-year-old woman, and...

YASSER HIDING AS FUSE BURNS – ALL-OUT ATTACK LIKELY AS 4 MORE JEWS ARE SLAIN

JERUSALEM - Yasser Arafat went into hiding last night as the Israeli Cabinet met to consider the possibility of massive reprisals against the Palestinians for the Passover massacre and another...

ONE MORE HILL TO CLIMB – KU’S WILLIAMS YEARNS FOR ELUSIVE 1ST CROWN

ATLANTA - It is like the frantic final days of a presidential campaign. Kansas coach Roy Williams is on The Last Word. He's on The Best Damned Sports Show Period....

ANGLERS AT MERCY OF MOTHER NATURE

WEATHER conditions were a significant part of this past week's fishing picture with cold, blustery winds keeping anglers and the action to a minimum. Mother Nature will also play a...

SOONERS PLAY HIDE & SEEK – SECLUDED SITE KEEPS OKLA. OUT OF NCAA ZOO

ATLANTA - When Oklahoma's team bus pulled into the secluded Airport Marriott yesterday, coach Kelvin Sampson knew he was in the outskirts of Atlanta. But for the national coach of...

NBA JUSTICE HITS NEW LOW

THE past 48 hours have convinced me Lavor Postell and the Manson family have firmer grips on reality than Stu Jackson . . . and, to a lesser degree, Rick...

SUSPENSION THOUGHTS SHOULD BE DRILLED, TOO

VERO BEACH - For a change, the Mets played a tight, clean, carefree game of baseball yesterday at sun-kissed Holman Stadium, home of the Dodgers. Almost. Drilled for the fourth...

ISLANDERS LOSE WILD MAN WEBB

TORONTO - The Islanders are without their locomotive. Steve Webb, affectionately known around the Islanders' locker room as "Train Wreck," sustained what the team is calling a mild concussion in...

KANSAS JAYHAWKS VS. MARYLAND TERRAPINS

POINT GUARD Maryland's Steve Blake vs Kansas' Aaron Miles Blake is the most underappreciated point guard in the country. At least he was until sinking that 3 with 25 left...

WILD RICE – BROADWAY LYRICIST SERVES UP SPICY DISH IN SOLO ACT

BARBADOS, West Indies - To the roster of one-person shows that are all the rage these days, add "An Evening With Sir Tim Rice," which had its world premiere here...

LOUD NOT DEREK’S STYLE

TAMPA - Derek Jeter had his glove stolen, or else you might not know he was in this camp. See, Ruben Rivera did have his use in Yankee spring training....

HOUSTON: I’LL MAKE DAJUAN PRIZED PUPIL

Allan Houston would embrace being a mentor to Camden's 19-year-old sensation Dajuan Wagner if the Knicks select him with their lottery pick. However, Houston still believes Wagner should stay at...

FED-UP MIKE GOES FOR THE THROAT – CONFRONTS PITCHER AFTER 4TH DRILLING

VERO BEACH - If you thought Mike Piazza was angry at Guillermo Mota yesterday, wait until he digests this post-altercation cheapshot by the young Dodgers pitcher. "Why didn't he do...

WILPON EXPECTS PLAYOFF SEASON

MET NOTES VERO BEACH - It was coincidental, but Mets co-owner Fred Wilpon touched down in Dodgertown yesterday morning hot on the heels of two disastrous losses by his club....

FED-UP MIKE GOES FOR THE THROAT – CONFRONTS PITCHER AFTER 4TH DRILLING OF SPRING

VERO BEACH - If you thought Mike Piazza was angry at Guillermo Mota yesterday, wait until he digests this post-altercation cheapshot by the young Dodgers pitcher. "Why didn't he do...

JUDGE WATSON WILL WAIT BEFORE RULING

VERO BEACH - Bob Watson, baseball's new dean of discipline, didn't sound yesterday like a man ready to march Mike Piazza into the slammer and throw away the key. "From...

SO LONG, SOJO; COOMER LANDS JOB

YANKEE NOTES TAMPA - The Yankees said goodbye to a World Series hero and the most popular player in their clubhouse yesterday when Joe Torre and Brian Cashman informed Luis...

MVP WAGNER PUTS ON SHOW – DAJUAN’S 16 CARRY MEMPHIS TO CROWN

NIT: Memphis 72 - So. Car. 62 Now that tournament MVP Dajuan Wagner's done his part, scoring 16 in Memphis' 72-62 NIT title game win over South Carolina last night,...

CALIPARI THRIVING AGAIN – MEMPHIS COACH HAS PROGRAM ON FAST TRACK

The thing about John Calipari is he's always selling something even if there is nothing to sell. He's always trying to win you over. During press conferences, he tries to...

DISPLACED IRS TO MOVE TO NEW DIGS

Taxpayers hunkered over their income tax forms should be thrilled to learn that the Internal Revenue Service has found a new Downtown home. The federal agency just subleased two floors...

PRADA CEO MOVES IPO DATE

Oh, make up your mind. It's a wonder Prada SpA chief exec Patrizio Bertelli gets any work done, with the way he keeps changing his mind on such matters as...

CITARELLA SPAWNS HAMPTONS MEGASTORE

Upscale grocer Citarella is expanding its gourmet empire in the Hamptons, and beyond. The Manhattan-based purveyor will open a second store on the East End of Long Island. Owner Joe...

FLAT ‘TEDDY BEARS’ DEFINITELY NO PICNIC

TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC [Half a star] -------- A beyond-lame satire, "Teddy Bears' Picnic" ranks among the most pitiful directing debuts by an esteemed writer-actor, in this case, Harry Shearer of...

QUAID IN THE BIG LEAGUES IN ‘ROOKIE’

THE ROOKIE [] One for the whole family. Running time: 127 minutes. Rated G. At the E Walk, the Union Square, Cinema 1, others. ---------- THE underrated Dennis Quaid hits...

TALE OUT OF TUNE

THE PIANO TEACHER [ 1/2] Disturbing S&M story. Running time: 130 minutes. Not Rated (graphic sexuality). At the Cinema Village, 12th Street between Fifth Avenue and University Place. ---------- IT'S...

ALLY’S ROOMIE MOVING BACK

'ALLY McBeal' is pursuing troubled, former star Lisa Nicole Carson to come back-perhaps as soon as the show's season finale later this year. Carson, who played Ally's busty roommate, Renee...

AT PUBLIC, 36 IS AN UNLUCKY NUMBER

36 VIEWS At the Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St., at Astor Place. Call (212) 239-6200. ------ THE play "36 Views" is an arty and artsy piece about forgery and falseness...

‘STRIP’ COP OUT ON BAIL AFTER FED RIGHTS RAP

Suspended Long Island highway cop Frank Wright was arraigned on federal civil-rights charges yesterday for allegedly forcing five female drivers to take off their clothes in public to avoid arrests...

MOVIE LEGEND DIES – DIRECTOR WILDER WON SIX OSCARS

Oscar-winning filmmaker Billy Wilder, who injected rapier wit and cynicism into classics like "Some Like It Hot," "Sunset Boulevard" and "The Apartment," has died. He was 95. The Austrian-born writer-director...

PROBE SEEKS PLANE TRUTH ABOUT ARMY BIG

The Pentagon is investigating Army Secretary Thomas White's use of a military plane for a trip to Colorado during which he finalized the sale of an Aspen home, defense officials...

TARGET: ARAFAT IN ISRAELI SIEGE – TANK ATTACK LEAVES HIM TRAPPED AS HQ BURNS AROUND HIM

JERUSALEM - Palestinian President Yasser Arafat was trapped in his burning office compound this morning, under siege by Israeli tanks and soldiers after Jerusalem's Cabinet declared him "the enemy." Prime...

LATE RALLY LIFTS ISLES OVER LEAFS

TORONTO - One thing's for sure about these Islanders -they've got thick skin. After last night's come-from-behind, 5-4 win over the Maple Leafs at the Air Canada Centre, the Islanders...

JEFFERSON ASKING FOR A LITTLE RESPECT

For the most part, Richard Jefferson has smiled politely, held his tongue tactfully and bit his lip diplomatically. The Nets' rookie forward is a main contributor on the team that...

PAVEL GETS SHOT AT CRITICAL EX-TEAMMATES

Pavel Bure was hardly surprised when he learned what two of his former Panther teammates said about him after he was traded to the Rangers. Florida goalie Trevor Kidd and...

STILL DOUBTS ABOUT DUQUE – NO GUARANTEE HE’LL BE READY FOR APRIL 7

TAMPA - While the first inning was painful to watch and the second wasn't pretty, it was obvious that Orlando Hernandez's right arm wasn't a problem last night. But is...

WHITE’S RIBS OK, BUT …

YANKEE NOTES TAMPA - Rondell White's rib cage was OK yesterday. The problem was with his eyes when it came to pitch selection. "I felt good, but I swung at...

INDIANA VS. OKLAHOMA

POINT GUARD Oklahoma's Quannas White vs. Indiana's Tom Coverdale Who'll be IU's point guard is the million-dollar question. Coverdale was the South Region MVP, but the junior is questionable after...

HELP WANTED FOR THIS MAN AT WORK

TIME OUT (L'Emploi du Temps) [] FRENCH director Laurence Cantet revisits the contemporary workplace with "Time Out," a less successful follow-up to "Human Resources," his wrenching debut about a manager...

KID’S CHILL THRILL

CLOCKSTOPPERS [ 1/2] OK, kid-friendly sci-fi. Running time: 94 minutes. Rated PG (mild violence). At the Empire, the 84th St., the Kips Bay, others. -------- THEY may not have made...

‘THE GODFADDA’: FUHGEDDABOUDIT

THE GODFADDA WORKOUTAt the American Place Theatre, 111 W. 46th St. Call TeleCharge (212) 239-6200. -------- IN "The Godfadda Workout," performer Seth Isler re-enacts, with a few comic additions, some...

TOO MUCH TV MIGHT MAKE YOUR KID A CROOK

Teens who watch more than one hour of TV a day are much more likely to be violent and commit crimes in later years, a new study has found. The...

KEEP THE LIGHTS ON

Three out of four New Yorkers think the temporary "Tribute in Light" near Ground Zero should remain shining past its lights-out deadline next month, according to a new poll. Thirty-nine...

‘STAR WARS’ STUDIO FENDS OFF PORNO MAKER’S SPACE $UIT

"Episode II: Attack of the Pornographic Star Wars Clone" premiered yesterday in Manhattan state Supreme Court, where the makers of an animated sci-fi parody filed a $140 million libel suit...

CASH CLASH IN KIN SLAY: COPS

Investigators believe money may have motivated James Seecoomar Jr. to kill his father and brother - but the suspect's story has "discrepancies," cops said last night. Seecoomar was charged with...

IT’S HISTORY IN THE MAKING

NCAA FINAL FOUR NOTEBOOK ATLANTA - Tomorrow night's national championship semifinal between Indiana and Oklahoma is the first in which both teams will be coached by African Americans. This comes...

MVP WAGNER PUTS ON SHOW – POWERS MEMPHIS TO CROWN

NIT: Memphis 72 - S. Carolina 62 Now that NIT Tournament MVP Dajaun Wagner's done his part, putting on another show, scoring 16 in Memphis' 72-62 NIT title game win...

‘ONCE & AGAIN’ NEVER MORE

'ONCE and Again," the Sela Ward series on ABC which premiered to critical acclaim three seasons ago but struggled in the ratings this season after an ill-fated move to Friday...

‘TOP GUN’ TURNS TO AIR FARCE – ‘SURVIVOR-IN-JETS’ SERIES CAN’T LAY OFF THE GIMMICKS

"AFP: American Fighter Pilots" [ ] Tonight at 8 on CBS/Ch. 2 -------- CBS's new reality series about fighter pilots might leave you dizzy, but not because of all the...

MIKE’S MAKING A LIST FOR SCHOOL-BOSS HUNT

Mayor Bloomberg's office is eyeing possible candidates to replace Schools Chancellor Harold Levy, The Post has learned. "They're definitely putting together a list," a source said. "There are currently three...

EXIT FOR WALLPAPER BOSS?

RUMORS are swirling that Tyler Brule, the founder and editor in chief of Time Inc.-owned Wallpaper, is about to resign. So far, nobody is confirming the rumors, which have been...

ANDERSEN OKS LONG-SHOT PLAN

Embattled Arthur Andersen's U.S. partners pulled together during a marathon meeting to back a plan to save the 89-year-old firm facing client defections and a criminal indictment. Up against the...

‘VERY’ ODD INDEED

VERY ANNIE-MARY [ 1/2] Odd and weird. Running time: 103 minutes. Not rated (sex, profanity). At the Angelika and the Sutton. --------------- SHOT long before "Six Feet Under" and high-profile...

DAZZLING DANCE

EIFMAN BALLETCity Center, 55th Street, between Sixth and Seventh avenues, (212) 581-1212. Season runs through April 14. ------ THERE is something so passionate and wholehearted about choreographer Boris Eifman and...

‘NO TIME’ FOR A PHONY FARCE

NO TIME FOR COMEDYAt the Mint Theatre, 311 W. 43rd St., (212) 315-0231. Through April 7. ------- THE Mint Theatre, a generally trustworthy excavator of old theatrical gems, is staging...

BACK FROM THE DESERT AND DYING FOR A GLASS OF BUBBLY… – BARBARA OF ARABIA ‘THE SAUDIS REALIZED THAT THERE’S SUCH SUSPICION THEY HAD TO OPEN THEIR DOORS TO US’

LIFE is back to normal for Barbara Walters. In the last two weeks, she has been to Saudi Arabia to interview one of Osama bin Laden's younger brothers and to...

HOLLYWOOD TAKES A SECOND ‘HONEYMOON’

IT looks like New York City's most famous bus driver, Ralph Kramden, will ride again. Plans are underway to turn "The Honeymooners" into a feature film with new actors playing...

MONSTER HIT? ‘NO SUCH’ LUCK

NO SUCH THING [] For Hal Hartley fans. Running time: 102 minutes. Rated R (language, brief violence). At the Angelika, Houston and Mercer streets. -------- IF you've come to appreciate...

‘PANIC’ PUSHES THE RIGHT BUTTONS

PANIC ROOM [] Run, Jodie, run. Running time: 112 minutes. Rated R (gory violence, profanity). At the Empire, the Lincoln Square, the 64th and Second, others. ---------- 'PANIC Room," which...

EX-BRONX HS DEAN HIT WITH $10M MOLEST SUIT

A former dean was hit with a $10 million lawsuit yesterday for allegedly molesting a 15-year-old boy for years at Adlai Stevenson HS in The Bronx. The sickening sex-abuse allegations...

CALIFORNIA MOTHER IS A FOUR-BEARER

Mother Nature dealt California mom Ornsee Khamsa a hand that's hard to beat on any maternity ward - four of a kind. The petite 20-year-old gave birth this week to...

2ND WITNESS BIDS TO FREE ‘WRONG’ BRO

Shorn Greene's lies about a murder 14 years ago helped put Lamont Branch behind bars, but now Greene says he wants to set the record straight - and help the...

… BLAME THE DEMOCRATS

GOV. Pataki has much for which to answer, but the dismal state of urban public education in New York shouldn't be on the list. Blame for the schools, in fact,...

BATTERY TUNNEL AND WEST ST. REOPENING

The Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel and West Street are expected to be opened to traffic tonight, a few days ahead of schedule. The tunnel and thoroughfare have been closed since Sept. 11....

MONEY IN THE YANK – BOMBERS NO. 1 FOR WEALTH OF REASONS

When it comes to the Yankees, the rich get richer. Before a pitch is even thrown this season, the Yankees are already on top of the money heap - and...

BOTCHED BABY DELIVERY SPURS $95M JURY AWARD

A jury has awarded $95 million to a disabled 8-year-old boy and his mother, blaming two hospitals and two doctors for failing to delay his birth long enough for his...

NOBODY DID IT BETTER THAN BILLY

I CAN think of no other filmmaker who has given me more hours of pure pleasure than Billy Wilder. Sure, Alfred Hitchcock was better known than Wilder, but that was...

STILL DOUBTS ABOUT DUQUE – NO GUARANTEE FOR APRIL 7 START

Reds 16 Yankees 4 TAMPA - While a four-run first inning was painful to watch and the second wasn't pretty, it was obvious that Orlando Hernandez's right arm wasn't a...

MLB FATTENS UP ON 9/11 SECURITY

WHILE Major League Baseball would consider eliminating third base if a corporate sponsor came up with the right number to underwrite the extraction, just how far would any of our...

SUMMITT: WE’RE NOT IN AWE OF UCONN

SAN ANTONIO - If undefeated, untested, UConn (37-0) is going to win a second NCAA women's basketball championship in three years going away, it will be through a Tennessee (29-4)...

YANKS SAY ‘SO LONG’ TO SOJO

TAMPA - The Yankees said goodbye to a World Series hero and one of the most popular players in their clubhouse yesterday morning when Joe Torre and Brian Cashman informed...

CONFIDENT WILPON: AMAZIN’S SHOULD MAKE POSTSEASON

MET NOTES VERO BEACH - It was coincidental, but Mets co-owner Fred Wilpon touched down in Dodgertown yesterday morning hot on the heels of two disastrous losses by his club....

GIANTS’ ROAD HAS NATIONAL APPEAL TO IT

At first glance, the Giants' 2002 schedule looks a lot easier than that of the Jets, though the Giants' slate includes three primetime games beginning with the Thursday night NFL...